Fallen Angels

I want to float
up in the sky:
to be among
such colours high.

I want to fly
up to the clouds
to see the view
above the ground

but as for that
it shall not be
for i have lost
my wings, you see

i fell to earth
both stunned and lost
i sinned and oh
what things it cost

now i am charged
to live in strife,
in human form,
a human life.

oh, I shall see
my God once more
when clouds do roll
and oceans roar

but till that time
I'll do my best,
live my life, then
come home to rest.

Friend

You love me despite my faults,
Sympathise with my pain.
If I had to choose a friend,
I'd choose you all over again.

Disconnected

I live in two lives.
You're in one,
But now I've moved to the other.
You are fading away.

Blood

my blood smells like the metal floor it's dripping on;
rivulets streaming to the floor.
does it take a twisted courage to cut,
or a severe lack of any?
water piercing my skin like burning arrows,
mingling to form swirls or red.
not a mark is on my arms - they're smooth
my nose is the source of the blood

Memories

my music turns off;
my brain freezes in its loop.
it's two in the morning,
where did the time go?
old memories are put on hold,
painful as they are.
as the music begins again,
i cry.

Emotions - Another 10 second poem

blue sky reflecting my mood
wind thrashes - the turmoil of my emotions
red on the clouds
i can't identify my feelings

MY Scenery

Looking out my window:
Spectacular sunrises,
Superb sunsets,
Blossoming buds turning to
Flamboyant flowers,
Intricate detail in everything,
And people walking past,
Too engrossed in their business
That they don't notice beauty.
I guess it's true;
Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.

Crying in His Arms

Enveloped in your love,
Nothing I can do is enough.
Nothing I can do
Will make you love me more.


The title may seem a bit ambiguous, but it portrays the sense in which I wrote it, which to me makes it all the more special.

Looking For Your Love

Thousands are looking
To the sky above,
Searching for your
Great unfailing love.
Futilely we try
To fill our lives ourselves
With loud music, sexual acts,
And bottles on the shelves.
I have seen your love now,
None of it you hide;
To he who is the Prince of Peace,
One day I'll be your bride.

Be Still With Me

Why does life have to be busy?
Every waking minute spent "doing".
Why can't we just
Be still,
And listen to you?
I want to be in your presence,
Bathed in your glory.

Contact

I see him.
As my colour drains,
He notices me.
I'd thought to leave my life behind,
Will unwanted memories return?
"Hello. How are you?"
Nothing - like we were always just friends.

Stained Glass Windows

Light
Playing through the air
Makes colours on the floor.
Beautiful
But fragmented.
To see the whole picture,
You must look to the source.

Our Song

I sing the notes.
But by itself,
The tune seems empty,
Like any lonely sound.

You sing the harmony.
But by itself,
The melody seems pointless,
It needs to support the tune.

Without each other,
Neither works.
Please, can you sing the melody,
And I'll sing the tune.

Verbing Me

Assuming
"I thought you knew"
Over-looking
"I'm sorry, maybe next time"
Forgetting
"Oh. I forgot I'd asked. I can't anymore."
Rejecting
"Not today, I have something else on."
Leaving.
---

Scars

Broken, I come
Crying
Back to you.
Wishing
I had never left
That enfolding goodness of
Your love.
This is not the first time,
And by no means the last.
But you love me still.
My scars are beautiful to you.

Forgiveness

How easy it is to ask for.
When you've done something wrong.
Easy also to give.
I have forgiven everyone else.
I have been forgiven by them.
I have been forgiven by God.
But the one person
Who takes the longest
To forgive me
Is myself.

MYC - Run The Race, Student Life.

This shall be one of my rare posts which doesn't include poetry or prose.

All the other posts I have for this day were composed some time over the period of the 4th of July till the 9th (today). Most of these were composed somewhere in the QCCC campsites/ surrounding area. You may have noticed drastic differences in the tone and emotions coming through each of the pieces, but that was the order in which I wrote them.

On a side note, MYC was awesome, and something I'm planning on going to again. There was a wonderful sense of fellowship, and the importance of evangelism was highlighted strongly. There was also a practical side to this, which is what I've been waiting for since before I can remember.

From what I've seen, there has always been a distaste for evangelism to occur within Western societies, and it is seen as something that is only done in Asia & Africa & South America, but I've always been itching for something here.

What made my day was, I think, the fact that I managed to have an evangelical discussion less than 2 hours after I left MYC.

Fears & Desires

Everyone has a dream,
A desire.
Except me.
I don't know
What I'm aiming for.
I'm too afraid
To dream.
What am I?

Out of Place

Beautiful land.
As I pass through,
Something catches me.
Among the green,
(so vibrant)
Among the brown,
(so full of life)
Metal.
Cold and hard.
Unforgiving.
Showing that
Nothing
Is untainted.

Colour

A sea
not of blue,
but green
life abounds.

Untainted,
forests rise.
Stretching
to water in the sky.

On the ground
a thick covering,
thick and coarse,
spreading, growing.

Initially unnoticed,
tiny flowers;
all different,
give the area colour.

The Race

I wrote this at a point in one of the talks at MYC where we were to write how we wanted to finish the race. (1 Corinthians 9:24, Hebrews 12:1, etc.)

When I cross the line
I want to have run well.
I may stumble,
I may fall,
I may be waylaid,
But I will have determination
To get back on my feet,
To get back on the track,
To keep running.
When I cross the line,
When I finish the race,
I want to be in his arms;
Father,
Husband,
Friend,
My God, saying,
"Well Done."

Gray world

Everything I see -
So vast, so beautiful.
Sight overwhelmed.
Cold touches on my back,
Cold fingers across my neck.
The rain making it so
Cloud shrouds the world.
No landscape I see before me now,
Just a utilitarian gray
As colour fades.
It remains beautiful.

Not Me

Connecting
With people and emotions;
People I never knew,
Emotions I have not experienced.
Why?
Dark depression,
Elation,
Degrees of the spectrum
of life,
of freedom,
of love.
It is not me
But collectively
Every story I've heard,
Every experience I've had,
Every impact on my life,
Not me.

Haiku time...

Time for anonther haiku.

It's always the same,
Some things never really change,
My love not returned.

Surrounded

Surrounded
Completely
Every day
Friends, family,
Strangers, enemies.
All are near, and yet,
I am totally
alone.

Just One More Day

Another year in a day,
What is an age?
There is no difference between days.
Is there a difference for a day
representing a year?
How am I to tell?
It feels no different,
Yet it is apparently so.
When tomorrow comes,
Am I to behave differently?
More maturely?
Contrasting with others,
I am already so.
Does that mean I get less so?
I am already less than others.
What difference does a day make?

Two Phrases

This body by me is not mine.
Detached from myself,
Surreal environments close in.
I can see a hand.
A complex structure before me,
seeming so foreign,
Amazing, but,
Like I see every other part of myself,
Not as being beautiful
And wonderfully made
But something other people
Glance over.
Like something left by the road.
There are two phrases
You could change my mind
With "You are beautiful",
"I love you".
You have used them before,
But it's been such a long time
I've forgotten
If it was true.
If it is true,
Tell me again.

Who? (Am I)

Lying in the dark,
In the cold,
Alone,
Feeling somewhat empty.

Standing in the sun,
In the warmth,
Surrounded,
Harbouring the same feeling.

I am the same person.
Why should things change?

Am I even myself when I'm alone?

Who?

I know everyone, and yet no-one.
They all know me, but I'm hidden.
They all know themselves, and are self assured,
But I've been hidden for so long. I don't know myself.

What Is It I'm Missing?

I am calling for you.
You answer "I am here, I am here"
But I can't hear you.

I am looking for you.
You stand in front of me
But I can't see you.

I am cold.
You surround me
But I can't feel you.

I need you.
You love me
But I don't remember you.

My Old Friend

I took a walk with you today.
Two old friends.
We've known each other for a very long time.
We haven't talked in a while.
I said "I loved you",
You said "I knew you did".
We walked a little further.
You said "I loved you. I still do."
"I know. I want to love you all over again."

I took a walk with you today.
My old friend.

If I could...

Would i go back to those dark days?
Lose cares and worries
And slip into black night.

The Love of My Friends.

They love me, my friends.
Would they, if they knew?
If they knew how far I'd been,
What I'd done,
How broken I am?
Would they still even like me?
They love me through You,
So I suppose they would,
But I still don't understand
How You can love me.

Broken

I gave my heart,
gave it away, but
like a toy at Christmas
it was broken.
Thrown away.
I tried to fix it,
but not prevailing.
Now I find I love again.
I would give my heart,

but would they want something broken?

(not un)derstood

You can see me.
I look happy.
What you don't know
is that I hurt.
I need a human touch,
but at the same time
can't handle closeness.

I cried myself to sleep again last night.

Loved

He said "I love you."
He used me for what he wanted
Then threw me away
Empty, discarded, unloved.
God came along to rescue me.
He said "I love you."
He used me for what he wanted.
Then he kept me.
He said "You are too precious to lose."

Unlocked

I have been hidden.
Locked in a cage,
behind a mask.
You cannot tell they are there,
but the mask is fading
and I've found the key.

Reading Me

I have some poems.
Beautiful words.
Unmasking my soul,
but you cannot read them
until you can read me.
I am not a book.
I change.
I am the author.
I feel pain.

Dilbert rerouted

Rerouting from my windows spaces page... here it is.

---

---

I hope this one works.

Treaty

I removed this one cause I didn't like it.

Me

Hardly a trace I'll leave on this earth,
Just a plaque in some soil.
Surrounding soil leeching life from the nutrients in my bones,
Decaying flesh supporting other life.
My memories gone,
Memories of me fading.
As soon as it is all gone - so am I.