Stamina

Stamina and strength. That's what you see when you see me. I may walk for hours, but after the first ten minutes, I can't take another step. I may swim for kilometers, but after the first hundred meters I'm too tired to move my limbs. I may seem to be able to keep going without a rest, but the truth is that no matter how much I get, sleep doesn't help me. Every injury I get, you think I barely notice it, but in reality I can't handle the pain. Every time I get knocked down, I just appear to shrug it off, but for me it gets harder each time just to get back on my feet. When you tease me and I look like it's just a joke to me too, each word you say is sharper than a knife. When cold doesn't appear to affect me, I really am chilled to my core, and feel like warmth will never come back. What you think is stamina and strength is really stubbornness, sheer will-power and a pride that will not let anyone else see my weaknesses.

Some thoughts

It's funny how God uses circumstances for good. The other day I caught up with an older lady who I respect a great deal. She has been happily married for about 10 years, and has two beautiful daughters. She is a Godly woman as well, but that doesn't mean she's wimpy or a pushover. About a month ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression (which is now leaving me), but I talked with her a lot about it before I went to see the doctors. Just recently, she has also been diagnosed with depression. She told me if it weren't for me being open and honest with her about my problems, she would not have had the courage to get it diagnosed, and that I was the trigger that got her that courage. She's now able to get past this as well.