Infinity is not a number

Sketches

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 07:23:00 +0000

I've been a little slack lately - haven't been putting up any blogs of note. No poems lately. I have been drawing a bit though, and although they aren't masterpieces (which is the case with everything I do), they are an improvement on earlier years. Unfortunately, I can't actually display them online, because I have no way of making a digital copy, but they are quite decent drawings.

Stamina

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 08:21:00 +0000

Stamina and strength. That's what you see when you see me. I may walk for hours, but after the first ten minutes, I can't take another step. I may swim for kilometers, but after the first hundred meters I'm too tired to move my limbs. I may seem to be able to keep going without a rest, but the truth is that no matter how much I get, sleep doesn't help me. Every injury I get, you think I barely notice it, but in reality I can't handle the pain. Every time I get knocked down, I just appear to shrug it off, but for me it gets harder each time just to get back on my feet. When you tease me and I look like it's just a joke to me too, each word you say is sharper than a knife. When cold doesn't appear to affect me, I really am chilled to my core, and feel like warmth will never come back. What you think is stamina and strength is really stubbornness, sheer will-power and a pride that will not let anyone else see my weaknesses.

Some thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 09:24:00 +0000

It's funny how God uses circumstances for good. The other day I caught up with an older lady who I respect a great deal. She has been happily married for about 10 years, and has two beautiful daughters. She is a Godly woman as well, but that doesn't mean she's wimpy or a pushover. About a month ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression (which is now leaving me), but I talked with her a lot about it before I went to see the doctors. Just recently, she has also been diagnosed with depression. She told me if it weren't for me being open and honest with her about my problems, she would not have had the courage to get it diagnosed, and that I was the trigger that got her that courage. She's now able to get past this as well.

Reflections

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Fri, 29 May 2009 06:57:00 +0000

I caught a glimpse in the mirror
And saw someone looking back.
Someone older, someone wiser.
Grace and beauty she did not lack.

Some other poems that I've neglected to post

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Sat, 23 May 2009 13:10:00 +0000

Loss of Sense

A sandcastle of sanity
Right on the ocean's edge.
An albatross egg of great wit
Left on a narrow ledge.
Society is crumbling,
It knows not what is lost;
The features of humanity
Are things which have no cost.

Loving Beauty

A light so brightly burning,
A love so sweetly shining,
But what is good is good indeed
And greatest fear and deepest need.
For what seems harmful to be
Is but nourishment to me.
That you think it a fool's ploy
Can just rob me of my joy.
For I care not to greatly be,
Just that I'm beautiful to thee.

Dedicated to Wes

Give me a heart purer than gold,
Refined by fire & out of the mould.
I know for sure there will be pain,
But let me choose it again and again.

Stars

All the stars up in the sky
Shine their faces down from high.
Their light is bright
From such a height,
But a little girl is all they spy.

Apologies & a poem

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Sat, 23 May 2009 12:24:00 +0000

I apologise for the lack of anything here. I shall try to remedy that.

Dedicated to the girls in the Narnia house.

Laughter surounds,
Noise abounds,
Girls are happy and fey.
If jokes are around,
These girls will be bound
To laugh for the rest of the day.

Fallen Angels

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 11:56:00 +0000

I want to float
up in the sky:
to be among
such colours high.

I want to fly
up to the clouds
to see the view
above the ground

but as for that
it shall not be
for i have lost
my wings, you see

i fell to earth
both stunned and lost
i sinned and oh
what things it cost

now i am charged
to live in strife,
in human form,
a human life.

oh, I shall see
my God once more
when clouds do roll
and oceans roar

but till that time
I'll do my best,
live my life, then
come home to rest.

Friend

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 06:06:00 +0000

You love me despite my faults,
Sympathise with my pain.
If I had to choose a friend,
I'd choose you all over again.

Disconnected

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 03:34:00 +0000

I live in two lives.
You're in one,
But now I've moved to the other.
You are fading away.

Blood

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:31:00 +0000

my blood smells like the metal floor it's dripping on;
rivulets streaming to the floor.
does it take a twisted courage to cut,
or a severe lack of any?
water piercing my skin like burning arrows,
mingling to form swirls or red.
not a mark is on my arms - they're smooth
my nose is the source of the blood

Memories

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:08:00 +0000

my music turns off;
my brain freezes in its loop.
it's two in the morning,
where did the time go?
old memories are put on hold,
painful as they are.
as the music begins again,
i cry.

Emotions - Another 10 second poem

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 11:23:00 +0000

blue sky reflecting my mood
wind thrashes - the turmoil of my emotions
red on the clouds
i can't identify my feelings

MY Scenery

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 08:03:00 +0000

Looking out my window:
Spectacular sunrises,
Superb sunsets,
Blossoming buds turning to
Flamboyant flowers,
Intricate detail in everything,
And people walking past,
Too engrossed in their business
That they don't notice beauty.
I guess it's true;
Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.

Crying in His Arms

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 01:41:00 +0000

Enveloped in your love,
Nothing I can do is enough.
Nothing I can do
Will make you love me more.

The title may seem a bit ambiguous, but it portrays the sense in which I wrote it, which to me makes it all the more special.

Looking For Your Love

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 11:14:00 +0000

Thousands are looking
To the sky above,
Searching for your
Great unfailing love.
Futilely we try
To fill our lives ourselves
With loud music, sexual acts,
And bottles on the shelves.
I have seen your love now,
None of it you hide;
To he who is the Prince of Peace,
One day I'll be your bride.

Be Still With Me

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:41:00 +0000

Why does life have to be busy?
Every waking minute spent "doing".
Why can't we just
Be still,
And listen to you?
I want to be in your presence,
Bathed in your glory.

Contact

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:37:00 +0000

I see him.
As my colour drains,
He notices me.
I'd thought to leave my life behind,
Will unwanted memories return?
"Hello. How are you?"
Nothing - like we were always just friends.

Stained Glass Windows

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:30:00 +0000

Light
Playing through the air
Makes colours on the floor.
Beautiful
But fragmented.
To see the whole picture,
You must look to the source.

Our Song

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 14:35:00 +0000

I sing the notes.
But by itself,
The tune seems empty,
Like any lonely sound.

You sing the harmony.
But by itself,
The melody seems pointless,
It needs to support the tune.

Without each other,
Neither works.
Please, can you sing the melody,
And I'll sing the tune.

Verbing Me

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:12:00 +0000

Assuming
"I thought you knew"
Over-looking
"I'm sorry, maybe next time"
Forgetting
"Oh. I forgot I'd asked. I can't anymore."
Rejecting
"Not today, I have something else on."
Leaving.
---

Scars

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:31:00 +0000

Broken, I come
Crying
Back to you.
Wishing
I had never left
That enfolding goodness of
Your love.
This is not the first time,
And by no means the last.
But you love me still.
My scars are beautiful to you.

Forgiveness

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:27:00 +0000

How easy it is to ask for.
When you've done something wrong.
Easy also to give.
I have forgiven everyone else.
I have been forgiven by them.
I have been forgiven by God.
But the one person
Who takes the longest
To forgive me
Is myself.

MYC - Run The Race, Student Life.

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 09:36:00 +0000

This shall be one of my rare posts which doesn't include poetry or prose.

All the other posts I have for this day were composed some time over the period of the 4th of July till the 9th (today). Most of these were composed somewhere in the QCCC campsites/ surrounding area. You may have noticed drastic differences in the tone and emotions coming through each of the pieces, but that was the order in which I wrote them.

On a side note, MYC was awesome, and something I'm planning on going to again. There was a wonderful sense of fellowship, and the importance of evangelism was highlighted strongly. There was also a practical side to this, which is what I've been waiting for since before I can remember.

From what I've seen, there has always been a distaste for evangelism to occur within Western societies, and it is seen as something that is only done in Asia & Africa & South America, but I've always been itching for something here.

What made my day was, I think, the fact that I managed to have an evangelical discussion less than 2 hours after I left MYC.

Fears & Desires

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 09:33:00 +0000

Everyone has a dream,
A desire.
Except me.
I don't know
What I'm aiming for.
I'm too afraid
To dream.
What am I?

Out of Place

noreply@blogger.com (ingenium Q) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 09:31:00 +0000

Beautiful land.
As I pass through,
Something catches me.
Among the green,
(so vibrant)
Among the brown,
(so full of life)
Metal.
Cold and hard.
Unforgiving.
Showing that
Nothing
Is untainted.